The following is an excerpt from my journal on the retreat day we had
Today on July 1st, I am living without my phone and my laptop. Instead I am going to spend as much time outside as I can and just reflect and relax.
It is very relaxing to not have to look at my phone constantly in case somebody is trying to contact me. I feel almost liberated from a daily responsibility. One thing I have especially noticed is that I am bored rather frequently without my phone or laptop. If I did have my phone/laptop I would probably be playing a game or just wasting my time on the internet. Instead I am thinking more and more about my future and about general tasks that I should be doing. These are things that I haven’t thought about for awhile and it is really good that I have the time to do so now.
I was unable to find an engineering internship this summer which was very disheartening. I feel that I am at a critical stage right now in my life, a turning point almost. Freshman year of college got me acclimated with the college environment and introduced me to adult life a little. Now after completing sophomore year, I have lived on my own and had to pay my own bills. I feel like one step closer to being a real adult. This is kind of scary to me though, it’s easy to ignore your responsibilities. This summer has been very laid back for me. I don’t have a job but I’m taking three summer classes. Oftentimes I have a lot of free time that I don’t know what to do with. I know that I probably won’t have another summer like this for the rest of my life. Writing that last sentence out really hit home for me. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to think about the future, but we have to.
Besides thinking about the future, it has been nice to think about all the general task I have. For instance, I need to find a place to live for a about a week because my lease expires right before the last week of class. I know I can just crash at one of my friend’s places, I just need to figure out where to put all of my stuff. It is rather unfortunate that I am not using my phone or laptop right now because I could look up places where I could temporarily store my stuff. That is one of the best conveniences of our time. The fact that at any moment, I am a quick Google search away from finding out whatever information I was interested in.
The weather has been pleasant today. I am writing this reflection on my front porch overlooking 20th Ave. It’s a pretty boring street but enough people walk by that I still feel that I am in a city. I should get out of my house more often and just do something, anything. I feel like I spend so much time inside doing pointless things. But I do not know what I want to do and its frustrating. Maybe I will find something that I love doing soon. I really hope so.